Old Butch
John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers (hens),
called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not
performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells
and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could
tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out
an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
John's favorite rooster, old Butch,
was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old
Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the
other roosters were busy chasing pullets,
bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing
the roosters coming, could run for cover.
To John's amazement, old Butch had his
bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.
He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job
and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he
entered him in the Renfrew County Fair
and he became an overnight sensation among
the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded
old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the
Pullet surprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.
Who else but a politician could figure out
how to win two of the most highly coveted
awards on our planet by being the best at
sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't
paying attention.
Vote carefully next year,
the bells are not always audible.