What Tiger should have really said.

[Holeshot]

Got this in my E mail today. Sounds like something I would say if I were him.

To my wife, I'm sorry. I screwed up but I'm not changing so you'll either need to put up with this crap or I'll stroke you the check I agreed to in the pre-nup....sorry.

To my fans, get over it. Where I stick my dick is none of your business. If you care....sorry. I don't need any of you in order to make 10 times in one year what you'll make in a career. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10' of the hole and drop putts that you couldn't read in a million years. If that's not good enough for you, go watch tennis.

To the media. You pricks are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my ass for all those years and then ripping me every chance you've had since Thanksgiving. Fuck all ya'll. I'm glad I don't have to take the time to sit and answer the same bullshit questions over and over again.

To the other golfers. Kiss my ass! You mothers come out ripping me when I've put more fucking money in your pockets than you could count. You think anyone's been paying to watch Jesper Parnavik? Give me a fucking break. I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys, but I think it's going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my bitches.

That's all I got today folks.....see ya at Augusta!....Oh and Bambi, if you're listening I'll meet you at the Ritz in 15 minutes

[Car Guy]

That is one of the better 'alternate' Tiger responses.....

[Cryptic]

we all know this is what he is really thinking....

[Crawlin]

I would have rather had him say that.

Sometimes those truths people just need to deal with (like the other golfers comments)