I wanted Tiger Woods to come out and just go off.
"You folks want to hear the truth? Here's the truth. Hey my wife is awful in bed and ever since we got married, never puts out. You guys can feel me right? How many of you guys have gotten married and then the sex dried right the fuck up? So I got all these hot bitchz wanting a piece of the El Tigre. What the hell would you do? Exactly. Yeah and so what my wife is hot, doesn't mean she knows how to screw. You all know that the hot ones aren't always the best in the sack. Until you've had your salad tossed by 2 coked up strippers don't judge. And for all you colleagues and sponsors who have ripped me, remember this I've partied with all of you. I've been limousine riding, lear jet flying, kiss stealing, and wheeling and dealing with all of you. I've seen Ernie Els take more then one woman to space mountain, Phil, don't even get me started on that time with we pulled a pig roast with that black chic in Augusta, and I've seen the head of Accenture getting blown at 20,000 feet. By another dude!
And you people crying about me being a role model. I'm a great role model and all you men know it. If your son came home with just half the trim I fuck in 6 months, you'd be the proudest mutha fucking dad on the block. I get paid to play golf, not raise your fucking brat.
So go ahead and bash me all you want. I'll be ripping up the courses, setting records, earning bank and fucking your wife and daughter when the Tiger Woods express comes to your town.
Peace out bitchz."
But that's just me