Garage guidelines

[Turbo-Triumph]

The following is a small list of guidelines that must be followed when working in your/someones garage;

Farting:
It is only ok to fart in someones garage if at least one of the following rules are met:

1. someone is 'downwind'
2. You can gaurantee its ganna really stink (ie: deviled eggs/beer breakfast)
3. it will be silent, and smelly, and can be blamed upon any female, causing emmbarrasment, and possible evacuation.

It is ONLY ok to claim farts that are NOT yours under ONE circumstance,
somones "new" girlfriend is present, and obviously discgusted.

Bringing 'friends' along:

it is only ok to bring friends along if they:
will not ask 'how much longer?'
are interested in the project at hand,
able to 'hold something' as needed,
not afraid of ruining clothes,
scared of sparks


Measureing:
When measuring something, if it is 8" or longer, it must be refered to as your manhood leangth.
If the measurement is 6" or smaller, it is up to the measure-er to decide whos manhood is this leangth.
it is up to surrounding people to call b/s as neccessary.

Story telling:
when telling a story, the following rules must be obided by.

"Kill stories" can only be embelished up-to 1 car leangth,
and NEVER can have an alternate ending (ie: you lost, but say you won)
Also NEVER can end with ANY of the following:
"woulda won but"
"was catching him but"
"i got a bad launch"
"he won only because"

Daydreaming about project car at hand:
Only is ok if all garage members are done working for the day,
If its the garage owners car, all dreams must be agreed with, no matter how unrealistic.
Wheelies in 3rd are propostorous, and can cancel out guideline #2.
"its ganna be great" must be said at least once.
can only be done once real work has been accomplished, not before.

Sarcasm:
Must be used whenever any question is asked. no exceptions.



hope you guys enjoy this, thought of all of it "on the fly" and i personally found humor in a few of em.

feel free to add on ass neccessary.

[URLOZIN]

I like em. A poster with this in the garage would be sweet!

[Reverend Cooper]

one last one to add.

when helping at another persons garage make sure you drink all their beer/booze and poop up the whole place.

[blk9660]

Heres one to add:

If its YOUR garage, others (GF's, wives, kids) cannot come in and touch/change the XM/TV channel- no matter what, NO exceptions!!!!!

If your a "guest", you have NO "remote" rights!!!!!!!




Been dealing w/this one lately-

[Reverend Cooper]

or never touch another mans tool.

[Turbo-Triumph]

^^^

[lordairgtar]

Heres one to add:

If its YOUR garage, others (GF's, wives, kids) cannot come in and touch/change the XM/TV channel- no matter what, NO exceptions!!!!!

If your a "guest", you have NO "remote" rights!!!!!!!




Been dealing w/this one lately-

Unless you are watching something ghey, like Oprah or the Lifetime channel. Man Law allows for a forceful removing of remote from said offenders hand.

[blk9660]

Unless you are watching something ghey, like Oprah or the Lifetime channel. Man Law allows for a forceful removing of remote from said offenders hand.

NEVER!!!! She just asked me if the only channel I get is Speed, worst part is she was serious!!!!!