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  1. #1
    Ol' School pOrk's Avatar
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    Pre-ride check list for Harley Riders

    1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
    2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
    3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
    4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
    5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
    6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
    7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
    8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
    9. Leather pants
    10. Gloves
    11. Wrap around sunglasses
    12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
    13. CAT work boots (new)
    14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
    15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
    16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
    17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
    18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
    19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
    20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
    21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.
    iPedal : AIM:BMXpORK : Milwaukee, Wi : SUICIDEDOORS


    "You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves." -Abraham Lincoln

  2. #2
    Senior Member..now yer posting! deuceWI's Avatar
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    Have you seen the latest South Park episode? ? ? It's exactly like your list but in cartoon episode form.

    Watch online @ www.southparkstudios.com

  3. #3
    Senior Member..now yer posting!
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    Some butt hurt crotch rocket lover made this because couldn't afford the sticker of an American brand bike.. sigh..

    Lets compare..

    1. Put on full faced helmet because you're sure to go down while impressing chics.

    2. Spend 6 hours telling your friends how you wheelied for a mile or hit the revlimiter on I94 in 6th gear.

    3. Assure the front fork seals are not pissing oil from doing wheelies. The wrong way.

    4. Pack cell phone and have YouTube videos of GhostRider available

    5. Remove mirrors for cleaner shaven look

    6. Put as many racing decals on bike as possible

    7. Remove blinkers

    8. Prepare to rev at every vehicle you see

    9. Designer jeans

    10. Name brand shoes

    11. Mp3 player

    12. If not wearing helmet, gel your hair straight up so tight that even 100mph can't touch it, then don a pair of Oakleys, the multi-colored type.

    13. ADDIDAS running shoes, from 1996

    14. Match jacket color to bike, helmet, ring, sunglasses, shoes, jeans, jewelry, etc.

    15. Honda/Kawa/Suzi Racing gear, make sure everyone knows youre prepared to race. (Speaking of, I bet less than 10% of the people toting (FILL-IN) Racing gear, has ever watched a motorcycle racing event..)

    16. Remove rear license plate from appropriate location and descretly bend it into a less visible area. Cuts down on the police calls when youre weaving through traffic.

    17. Check odometer, if near 20k miles post for sale on Craigslist because you'll be damned if it makes it past that.

    18. Call a friend, end up with 89 others because the only reason why they bought a bike was to ride with their friend, who bought one to ride with their friend, who in turn did the same, who then also... well, yea.

    19. God I am bored of this.. lol

    Harley riders have their group of whack jobs as do the Rocket riders..

    But I own a Harley, and not a single one of those stereotypes do I partake in..






    I love all bikes for all sorts of reasons... Which one out of here would you take, g/f not included....

  4. #4
    Senior Member..now yer posting! SSScottSS's Avatar
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    I would take the sports bike. Im all for American made, but I just cant get into the Harley scene. I was just thinking to myself before reading this post, that the only good thing about winter is no more excessively annoying Harleys with loud pipes. I think they ALMOST make the fart cans on the Civics sound good in comparison.

  5. #5
    R.I.P. BCM Jawashoot Champion Toby and Kiki Champion GTSLOW's Avatar
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    I've got nothing against them except when the moron floors it in 1st at redline going past my car with the windows down. It either:

    A) Scares the shit out of me

    B) Pisses me off to the point that I want to swerve over and take the guy out


    Don't get me wrong they all aren't like this but this scenario happens many times every summer.
    All posts from the above author are expected to be 100% BS. Thank you and have a nice day.

  6. #6
    formerly known as Madison Dave Cleveland Dave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deuceWI View Post


    Have you seen the latest South Park episode? ? ? It's exactly like your list but in cartoon episode form.

    Watch online @ www.southparkstudios.com
    HUB-BRUBBRUBBRUBBRUBBRUB

  7. #7
    Ol' School -stew-'s Avatar
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    Yo, JA...



    Fag.

  8. #8
    Senior Member..now yer posting! SSScottSS's Avatar
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    www.southparkstudios.com

    Quote Originally Posted by Madison Dave View Post
    HUB-BRUBBRUBBRUBBRUBBRUB

    That was the perfect video for me toaday!!!!

  9. #9
    Ol' School pOrk's Avatar
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    LOL.

    I've raced at both blackhawk and road america, and I don't watch motorcycle racing I also prefer riding boots and A Stars in all Black Personal preference though.
    iPedal : AIM:BMXpORK : Milwaukee, Wi : SUICIDEDOORS


    "You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves." -Abraham Lincoln

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by pOrk View Post
    1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
    2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
    3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
    4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
    5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
    6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
    7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
    8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
    9. Leather pants
    10. Gloves
    11. Wrap around sunglasses
    12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
    13. CAT work boots (new)
    14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
    15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
    16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
    17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
    18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
    19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
    20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
    21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.
    I amlost pissed my pants when I read #8. Got to go, getting ready to meet my friend for a ride who fits this description to a T. I have a bagger but am quite a bit more reserved than all of this. Doesn't bother me I think it is all funny. I see alot of this while out on the road and I am embarrased for my self when I have to see it firsthand. Don't forget
    #22- lace up new WHITE tennis shoes for a ride

  11. #11
    Obsessed loud91rs's Avatar
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    I have had two sport bikes and the one making fun of sport bike riders doesn't bother me at all, I just laugh because I make fun of those people as well. As for the harley one, if you aren't like that just laugh because we all know you see them around!
    12 Suzuki Hayabusa Turbo
    12 Suzuki Hayabusa LE
    04 Pontiac GTO
    72 Pontiac GTO

  12. #12
    I wanna go fast... $title Champion Crawlin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pOrk View Post
    LOL.

    I've raced at both blackhawk and road america, and I don't watch motorcycle racing I also prefer riding boots and A Stars in all Black Personal preference though.


    Although my boots are SIDI as I got them cheap before Corsa shut down

    Since I ride a sportbike, and work at a Harley place, both of those lists are so funny. I can picture the sportbike squid rider that it's talking about. Yet I can also picture all the Milwaukee HOG Chapter guys that come into H-D asking what their discount is(even though they never get work done at House)

    And that south park episode was fucking EPIC!!!

  13. #13
    Fact or Crap? Al's Avatar
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    The Harley one does not apply to me.
    I fail right from the start. I have not washed the bugs out of my fins in a year.

    I want to hear the BMW version of this!
    When Injustice Becomes Law; Rebellion Becomes Duty

  14. #14
    I'll touch your apex PureSound15's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Al View Post
    The Harley one does not apply to me.
    I fail right from the start. I have not washed the bugs out of my fins in a year.

    I want to hear the BMW version of this!
    1) Short-short khaki shorts
    2) Knee high white socks
    3) Velcro white tennis shoes that lookas though they've never been worn... ever
    4) Rayban sunglasses
    5) Marshmellow looking helmet with the wrap-around microphone to communicate with salt n pepper haired, prissy fat wife on the back who refuses to even touch you
    6) Tiny Dancer playing on the radio
    7) Look DOWN at every car that you pass... as this is the only choice because the bike is approximately 5 feet tall.


    ... it's a start?


    Last edited by PureSound15; 11-10-2009 at 02:37 PM.

  15. #15
    I wanna go fast... $title Champion Crawlin's Avatar
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    that's pretty much right on Ryan, hahahah

  16. #16
    Ol' School pOrk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PureSound15 View Post
    1) Short-short khaki shorts
    2) Knee high white socks
    3) Velcro white tennis shoes that lookas though they've never been worn... ever
    4) Rayban sunglasses
    5) Marshmellow looking helmet with the wrap-around microphone to communicate with salt n pepper haired, prissy fat wife on the back who refuses to even touch you
    6) Tiny Dancer playing on the radio
    7) Look DOWN at every car that you pass... as this is the only choice because the bike is approximately 5 feet tall.

    8) Spends more time playing with toy train set then most 8 year olds
    iPedal : AIM:BMXpORK : Milwaukee, Wi : SUICIDEDOORS


    "You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves." -Abraham Lincoln

  17. #17
    Ol' School -stew-'s Avatar
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    Yo JA,




    Welcome to BCM. HTFU.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by -stew- View Post
    Yo, JA...



    Fag.
    Hahaha, that is so fuckin funny. That's what I was thinking. hahaha.

    Quote Originally Posted by PureSound15 View Post
    1) Short-short khaki shorts
    2) Knee high white socks
    3) Velcro white tennis shoes that lookas though they've never been worn... ever
    4) Rayban sunglasses
    5) Marshmellow looking helmet with the wrap-around microphone to communicate with salt n pepper haired, prissy fat wife on the back who refuses to even touch you
    6) Tiny Dancer playing on the radio
    7) Look DOWN at every car that you pass... as this is the only choice because the bike is approximately 5 feet tall.
    8) Spends more time playing with toy train set then most 8 year olds
    9) Dress up like you are going out on a desert expedition with your motorcycle, but you are really just going to Sendiks.

  19. #19
    Senior Member..now yer posting!
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    Where's the crying? Guess I don't see it..

  20. #20
    R.I.P. BCM Jawashoot Champion Toby and Kiki Champion GTSLOW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pOrk View Post
    LOL.

    I've raced at both blackhawk and road america, and I don't watch motorcycle racing I also prefer riding boots and A Stars in all Black Personal preference though.
    What your bicycle??
    All posts from the above author are expected to be 100% BS. Thank you and have a nice day.

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