how to read real estate ads

[4eyedstang]

1. Baroque = Broken
2. Casual Living = Your neighbors have a refrigerator on their front lawn
3. Charming = Corners don’t line up. Sagging porch.
4. Country Living = Your street will never see a snow plow.
5. Cozy = Cramped
6. Diverse Wildlife = Raccoons will raid your garbage. Bats will roost in your attic. Coyotes will eat your dog. Bears will eat your children.
7. Urban Setting = Ghetto
8. Family-ready = Previous tenants left toys everywhere
9. Historic = Has ghosts
10. Interesting History = Has murderous ghosts
11. Laid-back Lifestyle = Retirement Community
12. Outdoor fire-pit = Previous owner burned the garage to the ground.
13. Private Drive = All your neighbors were eaten by redneck cannibals
14. Quaint = Outdated
15. Quiet neighbors = Cult compound
16. Scenic View = Adjacent Cemetery
17. Spacious = No windows
18. Starter Home = Cardboard box
19. Tree-lined = Welcome to the jungle
20. Unique Layout = Architect was unlicensed and possibly schizophrenic
21. Waterfront Property = Septic tank backs up in spring

[Turbo-Triumph]

lol

[Turbo-Triumph]

sorry about my avatar size i will reduce it asap.

[Dasred]

We've been house hunting the past couple weeks, rental hunting actually. We've seen alot of this.
Made the decision today to take a nice place in Bayview.