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  1. #1

    Nursery Rhymes My Mother Never Read To Me

    .... MOM DIDN'T TELL ME THESE RHYMES!

    Mary had a little pig,
    She kept it fat and plastered;
    And when the price of pork went up,
    She shot the little bastard.

    ********************

    Mary had a little lamb.
    Her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her,
    Between two chunks of bread.
    ********************

    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    To have some hanky-panky.
    Silly Jill forgot her pill
    And now there's little Franky.
    ********************

    Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
    "What have you got there?"
    Said the pie man unto Simon,
    "Pies, you dumb ass"
    ********************

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
    All the kings' horses,
    And all the kings' men.
    Had scrambled eggs,
    For breakfast again.
    ********************

    Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
    All over the bedside clock.
    The little dog laughed to see such fun.
    Then died of electric shock.
    ********************

    Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
    Kissed the girls and made them cry.
    And when the boys came out to play,
    He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
    ********************

    There was a little girl who had a little curl
    Right in the middle of her forehead.
    When she was good, she was very, very good.
    But when she was bad........
    She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

    I Don't Brake Check, I Teabag!

  2. #2
    BCM Rseident Grill Master Bobby "Big Daddy" Flay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Just around the bend....
    Posts
    2,823
    Some good ones there

  3. #3
    Post whore
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Janesville/WI
    Posts
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    Nice!
    1999 Pontiac Trans am

  4. #4
    its almost that time again Ricky Bobby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    the back 40
    Posts
    4,346
    i cracked up on a few of those thats for sure

  5. #5
    BCM Cruiser
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    West Allis, WI
    Posts
    123
    Lol!
    I'm just a figment of your imagination.

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