funniest shit you ever said to your girlfriend thread, cause mine is hilarious

[awsomeears]

" Why don't you swallow "

[Reverend Cooper]

sorry i put it in your butt

[PureSound15]

sorry i put it in your butt

I'm not sure there's any other hole to choose from with the people (coughMENcough) you have sex with.


P.s. I'll put your navigation in soon. I promise.


And you can't put it in my butt

[Reverend Cooper]

youve never complained before

[LIZMO]

awkward... lol

[Mr Twigbert]

"That 16 year old I banged last week didn't mind it"

[PureSound15]

"That 16 year old I banged last week didn't mind it"

Geez.. for a cop, you sure do sound a lot like a priest.

[Crawlin]

As Junk, FarmTruck, Lawler, etc... can all attest to this being true....

Me - "Well don't you have to get going?"
Her - "No, I'm tired so can I stay here?"
Me - "No."
Her - "But I'm really tired"
Me - "Yeah, you need to go"

[wikked]

There's usually a nice benefit to dating those asshole/jerk boyfriends. Makes them worth it for a little while.

Can't wait to hear this 'benefit'

[Voodoo Chick]

Sometimes, when you are dating a total a**hole, you think, "Awwww, there's really just a sad, scared little boy inside, that's why he acts like such a douche......Poor guy, I'll help him..." Then one day you wake up and realize, no, he's really just an a**hole, and dump his sorry a**. Hopefully before you have become an alcoholic........

[Crawlin]

Sometimes, when you are dating a total a**hole, you think, "Awwww, there's really just a sad, scared little boy inside, that's why he acts like such a douche......Poor guy, I'll help him..." Then one day you wake up and realize, no, he's really just an a**hole, and dump his sorry a**. Hopefully before you have become an alcoholic........

let's put a little sidebar to this one....

"while countless number of ACTUAL good guys have passed you by wanting a chance, only to be turned down because maybe a hair is out of place. Only for them to miss their chance with someone because they've been rejected and are now shy"

[LIZMO]

let's put a little sidebar to this one....

"while countless number of ACTUAL good guys have passed you by wanting a chance, only to be turned down because maybe a hair is out of place. Only for them to miss their chance with someone because they've been rejected and are now shy"

aww thats totally true.

[Want_Notch]

"What do you mean that was your twin sister?"

[70 cutlass 442]

let's put a little sidebar to this one....

"while countless number of ACTUAL good guys have passed you by wanting a chance, only to be turned down because maybe a hair is out of place. Only for them to miss their chance with someone because they've been rejected and are now shy"

exactly, thats why if you cant beat em, join them. I get more tale now that im an obnoxious ass then i ever did when i was "that nice guy" and its decent tale too

[Reverend Cooper]

Sometimes, when you are dating a total a**hole, you think, "Awwww, there's really just a sad, scared little boy inside, that's why he acts like such a douche......Poor guy, I'll help him..." Then one day you wake up and realize, no, he's really just an a**hole, and dump his sorry a**. Hopefully before you have become an alcoholic........

once again my point is proven,you all just want to try to change us. haha jokes on you suckas

[Crawlin]

just was doing it now.

25 y/o girl, dating a 34 y/o guy. guy hasn't worked in 2 years. she pays every bill they have, rent electric, internet, cable, etc... then on top of that, HE takes money from her to go to the bar every day and to play cards with his buddies. When she only makes $25,000/year, that's not alot left over for her. Always yelling at her, always talking shit to her, always threatening her. I come along saying how stupid that crap is. We start hanging out, and then I get the, "you are way too nice. i don't deserve someone like you, blah blah blah blah blah." Amazing how someone can say how I'm the best thing to happen to her and that I've made her realize that she doesn't need the asshole anymore. YET, god forbid she actually wants to still be with someone like that. No sweat off my back... you want to go back to an abusive relationship, it's only gonna come bite you in the ass in time.

[michelle]

Can't wait to hear this 'benefit'

Do I really need to explain it? (:

[Cjburn]

Greatest line of all time. Long time ago, a group of guys took their girlfriends up to Lake Delton for a week of fun. Chad was dating a ***** named BreAnn at the time, BreAnn was a health freak, Chad however was not too big into eating healthy and excersizing (he wasn't fat though). One afternoon while we're all watching TV in the cabin, BreAnn was in the kitchen doing the dishes. Chad asks her to grab him a soda...

BreAnn, "NO, you don't need a soda."
Chad; "I know, I just want one."
BreAnn; "I'll get you some juice, do you want apple or grape."
Chad; "I don't want juice, I want a F UCKING SODA!"
BreAnn; "You don't need a soda, it's not good for you."
Chad; "For christ sake, I'll just get the damned soda myself."
BreAnn; "You don't need one, you're getting FAT!"
Chad, without skipping a beat, looking straight at her; "Yeah, and you F UCK like a dead animal, now get me a soda."

BreAnn ran into the bedroom and started crying. Chad got up and asked if anyone wanted a soda, he went to kitchen grabbed himself a soda, as he sat down he said "B ITCH" loud enough for here to hear it in the bedroom. Absolutely one of the funniest exchanges I've ever seen. I don't advocate being mean to a girlfriend, but this girl was a cunt, and absolutely deserved it. Chad wasn't heavy, and still isn't. This girl was a pretentious self absorbed b itch and no one can stand her to this day.

[michelle]

Greatest line of all time. Long time ago, a group of guys took their girlfriends up to Lake Delton for a week of fun. Chad was dating a ***** named BreAnn at the time, BreAnn was a health freak, Chad however was not too big into eating healthy and excersizing (he wasn't fat though). One afternoon while we're all watching TV in the cabin, BreAnn was in the kitchen doing the dishes. Chad asks her to grab him a soda...

BreAnn, "NO, you don't need a soda."
Chad; "I know, I just want one."
BreAnn; "I'll get you some juice, do you want apple or grape."
Chad; "I don't want juice, I want a F UCKING SODA!"
BreAnn; "You don't need a soda, it's not good for you."
Chad; "For christ sake, I'll just get the damned soda myself."
BreAnn; "You don't need one, you're getting FAT!"
Chad, without skipping a beat, looking straight at her; "Yeah, and you F UCK like a dead animal, now get me a soda."

BreAnn ran into the bedroom and started crying. Chad got up and asked if anyone wanted a soda, he went to kitchen grabbed himself a soda, as he sat down he said "B ITCH" loud enough for here to hear it in the bedroom. Absolutely one of the funniest exchanges I've ever seen. I don't advocate being mean to a girlfriend, but this girl was a cunt, and absolutely deserved it. Chad wasn't heavy, and still isn't. This girl was a pretentious self absorbed b itch and no one can stand her to this day.

So they got married, huh? (:

[Smokey1226]

Bit<hes R Crazy, nuff said. And if i ever hear "Im not like most girls, im different" one more f-ing time i swear to GOD, im going to jail.....

They're all the same, Crazy, and need to wake up. As my young Brother once told me...."Is the F u Cking your getting, worth the F u Cking your getting?"

Think about it!