Baned From Wal-mart

[GRAMPS SS]

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........

After Mr. and Mrs. Smith retired, Mrs. Smith insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal -Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Smith was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Smith was like most women—she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Smith received the following letter from her local Walmart.

Dear Mrs. Smith,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Smith are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on lay -away.

September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least..

December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,
Walmart

[GRAMPS SS]

JULY 7

[moels]

Good stuff "other" Wayne

[michelle]

For some reason, I want to say you posted this before, but I searched and couldn't find it. Maybe during those months that got deleted. Either way, it's funny. (:

[GRAMPS SS]

IT'S NEW...i'm not that old and forgetful

[michelle]

Well you have been known to repost your own stuff...

[moels]

^^^^^ Leave the Old Wayne alone! lol

[michelle]

Considering I am in his avatar, I can say whatever I want. (:

[moels]

You're proud of that aren't you?

I need a new and better avatar so just email me the nudie version of the jugs and I will be all set.

[michelle]

You're proud of that aren't you?

I need a new and better avatar so just email me the nudie version of the jugs and I will be all set.

Again?

[moels]

I actually lost or can't find the nudie pic you sent me.

[michelle]

Good, now you can't post it!

[STANMAN]

Ummm, from now on, all pics of Michelle should immediatly come to my phone for review

[michelle]

Ummm, from now on, all pics of Michelle should immediatly come to my phone for review

Nobody has any pictures, sorry.

[CobaltSSTuner]

thats funny, i have to say that july 7th probably made me laugh the hardest

[wikked]

I think that was taken from a list of 100 things to do in Wal-Mart / 100 things that will get you banned in Wal-Mart, etc.

Look on your local interwebs.

[lordairgtar]

Again?

moels has nude pics?