Chris, I have to agree with Tony on the XDs. I purchased one of his .40 XDs last year, and I love the gun! It's a great gun especially for someone getting started. It's easy to break down, and they are reasonably priced. I was skeptical of the accuracy seeing as how it did not have adjustable sights, but the 5" tactical is very accurate. Kimbers are also amazing, but they are a hell of a lot more expensive, many used ones are $800 and up depending on what model.
As for handgun caliber, I would strongly suggest not going with a 9mm. I think you would be better off going with a .40. 9mm's do not have as much knockdown as the .40S&W. Especially if it going to double as self defense gun, I'd definitely go with something that if you shoot an intruder, they are going to stay down. With .40S&W, you can still get 50 round boxes of Winchester FMJ for $10-15. As for a home defense round, definitely go with the Federal JHP, hands down. The .40 still packs a punch, but doesn't hit the wallet hard like the 45 ACP.
Exactly....