Decoding Womens Personal Ads

**GRAMPS SS** · 01-31-2007, 09:21 AM

----- FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS, ETC.
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> In case you did not know.......
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> Subject: FW: DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS, Etc.
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> DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
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> 40-ish...................................49.
> Adventurous...........................Slept with everyone.
> Athletic.................................No breasts.
> Average looking.....................Moooo.
> Beautiful................................Pathologi cal liar.
> Emotionally Secure...............On medication.
> Feminist...............................Fat.
> Free spirit.............................Junkie.
> Friendship first......................Former slut.
> New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.
> Old-fashioned.......................No Blow Jobs.
> Open-minded........................Desperate.
> Outgoing............................... Loud and Embarrassing.
> Professional .........................*****.
> Voluptuous...... ....................Very Fat.
> Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
> Wants Soul mate.................Stalker.
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> WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
> 1. Yes = No
> 2. No = Yes
> 3. Maybe = No
> 4. We need = I want
> 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
> 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
> 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
> 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
> 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
> 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
> about?
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> MEN'S ENGLISH:
> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
> 3. I am tired = I am tired
> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
> 5. I love you = Let's have sex now
> 6. I a m bored = Do you want to have sex?
> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
> 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
> 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay